The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Claudia is WINNING!

Hey Fatties,

Saturday, yours truly had a viewing party for Lifetime’s presentation of The Whitney Houston Movie. Regardless of what critics have said, the movie was EPIC! It gave me comedy, Whitney and Bobby realness, and one of the best made for TV sex scenes EVER! With that being said, the turn up at the party made me forget all about Housewives on the following day. It wasn’t until a dear friend’s text message about RHOA being on, that I frantically reached for my remote to turn my television to Bravo. Once on, these were my findings:

Claudia can spit fire for days!

That wig is strategically covering those edges…

“These edges aint loyal!” “Your wig is strategically glued to your forehead!” Just a couple of classic lines out of the mouth of Ms. Claudia Jordan. Claudia is seriously giving me life! She literally has trained the dragon! There are some things that Claudia has said, that has stopped NeNe dead in her tracks. Claudia reminds me of the kid who had the Yo Momma Joke game on lock! She has verbally beat NeNe down so much, NeNe tried to take a “Bigger Person” approach and give a half assed apology, which also included victimizing herself, while informing everyone of her newfound Broadway opportunity. Of course, because she is still QUEEN NeNe and has a plethora of followers, most of the girls ate the apology up, including Cynthia, who annoys me on all levels. Only two brave souls called BS on that tragic apology: Claudia and Kenya! You gotta love them! Speaking of followers…

Porsha is SUCH a follower

Girl, you aint in the picture…

When did Porsha have to start defending NeNe? After Claudia wouldn’t let NeNe off the hook for talking out the side of her neck at the dinner, Porsha tried to make Claudia look like the villain who couldn’t accept an apology. I see why Bravo Execs snatched Porsha’s peach away from her and gave it to Claudia! Porsha is too busy trying to kiss NeNe’s butt then to establish a storyline for herself! Didn’t she know that she had to do more than walk around half naked in order to keep her Housewife title? Well, if she didn’t know the Underground Railroad didn’t involve actual trains, I guess it’s crazy to believe she would know about ANYTHING else.

Evidently, Porsha is also a home wrecking Hoe

“Whatever you liiiike.” Porsha watched this movie for pointers.

It came out last night that Porsha is sleeping with married African men for cars, money, and handbags. Hmm, I wonder why we don’t just say married men? I guess it’s funnier to give a specific location for the men. After Porsha decided to defend NeNe, Claudia promptly busted out her little secret. Porsha, looking like a kid who just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar, tried to deny the accusations by saying she was a businesswoman! OK, Porsha. OK.

Overall, the episode was solid. Demetria’s song was actually kinda hot, and Roger Bobb was never mentioned! That, in itsef, is a successful episode. What did you think about this weeks episode of RHOA?  Let me know by leaving a comment below!

That’s all for now Fatties,

The Reality Fatty

Real Housewives of Atlanta: NeNe You IS Mean and You IS Delusional

Fatties,

Real Housewives of Atlanta was EVERYTHING last night! Every scene had something special to offer. It has truly been a long time since I’ve watched RHOA and giggled like a schoolgirl throughout the entire episode. Let’s immediately get started.

The RHOA Producers are hilarious! While watching Cynthia and Peter scout a new location for Bar One, the Producers went above and beyond making sure the viewer knew the new location for Bar One was in a terrible neighborhood. First, they showed us the street sign indicating Martin Luther King Blvd. was close by. It is commonly known that every MLK blvd, street, avenue, is a BAD place to be. Sad, but true. Next, the Producers had to show us that the surrounding buildings were dilapidated. Finally, after Cynthia informed Peter that she was thrilled about the location, the Producers let us hear the police sirens that were in the background. It was hood location gold! In the end, kudos to the Producers for humiliating Cynthia, especially since she had the false sense of hope that the street for the new location was the next Bourbon Street.

Phaedra Parks, Esq. delivered tonight. While talking to contractors about building a gate, she managed to show us that Apollo was an absentee father and husband, all while wearing a #FixItJesus t-shirt, thus building upon her brand. I swear Apollo is delusional. After coming home after days of being gone, Apollo saw Phaedra talking to contractors about building a gate to surround her property. He then tried to insert himself into the discussion and EVERYONE looked at him like Bitch Please! Apollo then shared with us that no one respects him. I don’t know if he wanted sympathy but, it’s kind of hard giving a convicted felon of Fraud sympathy. #ByeFelicia and moving on!

NeNe is delusional! On this episode of RHOA, NeNe found out that she was offered the part of the wicked stepmother in the Broadway musical, Cinderella. NeNe went into a whole monologue on how that part would be very difficult for her because she is not a mean girl. All I could do, after giving her several side eyes, was to immediately pick up the phone to order her a size Large #FixItJesus t-shirt! “It” being her delusion. The episode provided us with further proof of NeNe’s mean girl ways during Kandi’s sex party. At the party, NeNe snubbed Kenya, Claudia, and Cynthia. She threw shade at Kenya by rejecting a hug, after pretending to be cool with her. She brushed Claudia’s existence off, treating Claudia how she said Black actresses once treated her. Do you remember that Mrs. Leakes? Lastly, she almost brought Cynthia to tears when she said they weren’t friends and she didn’t want to be strapped to her in a bondage exercise.

Them eyes looking kinda red, girl!

Even Kandi knew NeNe was being a mean girl, saying the song #BitchDontKillMyVibe was about her. Overall, NeNe just needs to take a lesson from a popular Disney song and just #LetItGo!

Lastly, when I thought that RHOA provided me everything I needed, they hit me with more! When the Blue Hair Bandit told Demetria she, too, dated Roger (Btw, she has been the only one NOT to refer to that man as Roger Bobb), all I could do was give the same reaction Kenya gave… I laughed hysterically. Poor Demetria even forced herself into believing she was being lied to by the woman. Demetria has lost eight years of her youth messing with the known cheater Roger Bobb. It’s like, GIRL, get yo life!

Anyway Fatties, RHOA gave me LIFE, and next weeks episode is sure to do the same. What did you guys think about RHOA? Leave a message in the comments.

Until next time,

The Reality Fatty

The Real Housewives of Atlanta: NeNe IS a BOSS!

Hey Fatties,

Happy Holidays!!! This Fatty had a Merry Christmas and I am so happy Bravo decided to show a new episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Btw, if you read the title of this post, don’t let it run you away. I will discuss in a little bit, why it’s the truth. Let’s get started.

Kandi is a jerk! I’m sorry you guys! This had to be said. Kandi decided to go back and tell her momma and the rest of the “Old Lady Gang” what Todd’s mother, Sharon, had said about her. You know, the part about beating Joyce up. Kandi was clearly wearing her messy boots because she knew nothing good would come out of sharing that information…and nothing good came from it. After being messy and shady as hell, Kandi went back to Todd and told him that she spilt the tea to her mother about Sharon AND that she also invited her mom and her posse to go on the play tour with them. Todd properly gave Kandi the side eye and the conversation quickly went to spending holidays a part because he doesn’t feel comfortable around Momma Joyce. Kandi got up and left because she didn’t want to stick around for an argument and I believe she knew she had just shown her ass. Overall, Kandi, please get your life! Moving on.

NeNe decided to invite Porsha, Cynthia, and Kenya to lunch to discuss, and hopefully resolve, their issues. At the lunch, NeNe proved that she IS and always WAS the boss of the housewives. It was truly remarkable to watch. Somehow, during this meeting, NeNe flipped everything on Cynthia and before I knew it, Cynthia was apologizing and kissing NeNe on her cheek like she was the Godfather!

           My apologies, Don Leakes!

Did I enter the twilight zone here? Did Cynthia just say the most important thing in the conversation is that NeNe said she loved and missed her? Did NeNe just tell Cynthia SHE needed some time before moving on with her? Thus, establishing herself as the victim. Overall, I was just dumbfounded! NeNe Leakes, you ARE a Boss! Cynthia, you are NOT.

                   I told you I was a BOSS!

What did you all think about tonight’s episode of RHOA? Am I wrong about NeNe? What did you think about Kandi? I have to know! Leave a comment below.

That’s all for now, Fatties,

The Reality Fatty

The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Bad Hair and Bad Marriages!

Hey Fatties,

First, I would like to start this post off by saying, “What the Hell was on NeNe Leakes’ head in tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta?”

#FixItJesus

Now that I got that out of the way, tonight’s episode of RHOA taught me that boyfriends are the worst managers because they can abandon ship and have your project looking all types of hood; You really do end up with egg on your face when you think a man isn’t going to claim a woman but he does…I’m talking to you KENYA MOORE; AND anytime I do something wrong to someone else, all I have to do is tell them “I’m taking medication!”  Enough with life lessons, let’s get started!

Ooh, this is embarrassing!

Joyce is a cold piece of work.  While attending Aunt Nora’s Backyard Boogie, Kandi confronted Joyce about the horrible text messages Joyce sent her when she questioned her about the “renovations/demolition” Joyce’s boyfriend did to her house.  Knowing that she was wrong, Joyce had to pull the old lady act and tell Kandi she didn’t want to fight anymore because she was taking medication…!  WTF, Joyce?  I’m sure Todd’s mom didn’t want to fight either, but she didn’t give two cents about that. Anyway, Kandi forgave her mother and there was no consequence for her actions. Joyce wins again! Ugh and moving on!

Apollo is scary, ya’ll!  At Demetria’s Music (or lack there of) Video premiere, Apollo decided that he wanted to humiliate his wife in public by addressing their marital concerns at the party, instead of at home.  When it was obvious that Phaedra didn’t want to engage in the discussion, Apollo got all up in her space and told her she wasn’t acting like a wife.  I usually don’t feel worried for Phaedra, as I know she can handle herself, but Apollo is kind of creepy.  I know that it must’ve been crazy at times living with his unstable behind! Overall, I’m glad that Apollo is in jail and Phaedra filed for divorce.

“Do I look like I want a hug from you?”

Fatties, I would have to say the episode thoroughly delivered.  What part did you guys like the most? Drop me a note and let me know!  Until next Sunday!

Happy Holidays,

The Reality Fatty

RHOA: I’m no Prostitute…Check my Resume!

Hey Fatties,

It’s so great to be back, and in good health!  So, tonights episode of RHOA was kind of a sleeper!  It had it’s moments but, overall, it was “AIGHT.”  We saw a lot of Todd’s mom tonight and I couldn’t help but get kind of sad, considering she has passed away.  Even throughout her deserved crunkness, it was evident that she was a nice lady.  We will get into said crunkness a little later in the post.  Todd, your family is in our prayers.  I also hope that Joyce, Kandi’s mom, used this untimely passing as a way to right her wrongs.

I just CAN’T with Cynthia’s death grip hug!

OK Fatties, I am getting a little annoyed with Mrs. Bailey.  So, Cynthia and NeNe had their talk tonight about their friendship and Cynthia let NeNe out talk her! The whole time I was thinking…”What happened to that bout it Cynthia who was going in on Porsha?” Cynthia let NeNe tell her off and make accusations of wrong doing, without saying a word.  It really made me start to reevaluate the whole situation.  Did Cynthia REALLY think she was in the wrong with NeNe?  Did she REALLY get pressured by Peter to stop being friends with NeNe? Is she just scared of NeNe when she gets in her Boss B mode?  Whatever the answer is, we found out that Cynthia missed NeNe’s friendship AND didn’t want to let her go when they hugged it out!  Overall, after watching this episode, I am giving Cynthia a big fat SIDE EYE.  Moving on.

RIP Ms. Sharon!

Kandi is just clueless.  In this episode, Todd and Kandi met with his mother and she immediately went in on Joyce.  She couldn’t help herself and I see why.  During this conversation where Kandi suggested that Todd’s mother provide some background evidence to Joyce to clear her name (The nerve of her for suggesting that), Todd’s mother promptly told her to check her resume because she is/was no prostitute, nor whore.  Although, I do not think prostitutes have resumes, especially one’s that list “Prostitute,” as a past job occupation, I thought this line was EVERYTHING!  In the end, she told Kandi she was going to punch Joyce in her face and she didn’t care if Kandi or her Aunties beat her up afterwards. She also went further, when she told Kandi to deliver a message for her to Joyce.  This part was just too gangsta for me, btw.  She told Kandi to tell Joyce to look out for something in the mail!  Who says that, besides Don Corleone?  Hopefully, Momma Tucker decided to forego stooping to Joyce’s level.

What did you all think of tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta?  Leave a comment below!

Happy Holidays,

The Reality Fatty

Real Housewives of Atlanta (Season 7, Ep. 4): And the Oscar Goes To…

Hey Fatties,

Tonight’s RHOA was pretty ok. Kenya gave the performance of her life; Todd gave Kandi much needed business advice, to her employees chagrin; and NeNe said she and Cynthia will NEVER be friends again! Let’s jump right on in.

How many times are we going to hear Todd tell Kandi her employees aren’t ish? Tonight, he told her that her employees are great when there is a large task, but drop the ball on the smaller things that makes a business run. When Kandi approached her manager, Don Juan, he told her pretty much that Todd is running the business. Kandi’s employees do seem like they have a lot of down time, so I am with Todd on this one. However, I recognize that an employee who likes to slack is going to have issues with a stricter change in management. What do you guys think about Todd vs. Kandi’s newly disgruntled employees? Whose side are you on? Moving on.

NeNe came back doing her job by bringing the drama. At a spa day, NeNe let the ladies know that she and Cynthia would never be friends again. Additionally, she told them that she felt Apollo lied about lying! For real, NeNe? You hate Kenya that much, boo? I want to know what you all think about this one. Did that thought cross your mind as well when Apollo said he lied? This fatty thinks he was actually telling the truth about lying. However, I want to read your opinions about this.

Lastly, Kenya had the most dramatic moment of the night. During a “workout session” with Kandi, Kandi informed Kenya that some of the ladies thought Apollo was lying about lying. Afterwards, Kenya rushed off, crocodile tears in tote, and went for the Oscar. She later said that NeNe hates her because she doesn’t want to see her shine. Although, I believe this, I wasn’t really feeling the dramatics. However, Kenya knows what to do to keep a peach and get more money while holding it. Porsha, that was for you. 😉

What did you guys think about tonight’s RHOA episode? Let me know by leaving a message below.

Enjoy your night,

The Reality Fatty

RHOA (Season 7, Ep. 3): Turn Down For What?

Fatties,

Everything about Phae Phae disgusts Apollo, Cynthia gets turnt up, and we get a crash course in self-control taught by Todd’s daughter. Tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta delivered again, as usual. Let’s dig right on in because I’m hungry for this scoop!

Apollo continued to shock our senses tonight on RHOA! Although I’m not the biggest Phaedra fan, my heart went out to her when this fool said everything about her disgusts him, but he still loved her. I wanted to jump through the screen and deliver him to the prison already. Anyway, Apollo sought legal advice from the only other attorney in ATL, besides Phaedra, and he revealed that he would need money when he got out of prison because he didn’t want to “HAVE” to go back to making money the illegal way. Umm, is it me or did Apollo just say he’s learned NOTHING from this whole experience? In the end, I hope other women can learn from Phaedra on not just marrying a man for his looks, with the end goal of having pretty kids. Moving on.

Riley is a little hater, ya’ll! Todd’s daughter really exercised restraint when Riley was talking out of the side of her neck in the family meeting. From curfew, to goals and aspirations, Riley was taking multiple jabs at Todd’s daughter. At one point in the meeting, Riley had to let everyone know her circumstances would be different than Todd’s daughter because she would be in college and not living at home when she’s eighteen. Everyone gasped, Todd’s daughter looked like she wanted to take flight on Riley, and Todd properly changed gears in the conversation. Thus, saving Riley from an imminent beat down. Todd handled that situation like a great father. On to the next.

Cynthia and Porsha were too much for me last night. Porsha thought Cynthia was a flip flopper and Cynthia thought Porsha was being a lil NeNe. When they finally decided to talk it out, Porsha arrived to the meeting an hour late, and Cynthia was furious. Almost too furious. She was so angry from the tardiness, she was unable to listen and have a meaningful conversation with Porsha, even if Porsha was totally wrong. In the end, Cynthia stormed out, but not before asking Porsha why she was only mad at her and not the other women who have called her dumb as snot. I’m kind of over that drama and ready to see more of something or someone else. Cynthia can stay, but I want to see more Claudia because she is giving me LIFE right now!

The only thing a weak man can do is direct me to his strong friend! #Yaaaasss

What did you all think of last nights Real Housewives of Atlanta? Let me know by leaving a comment below.

That’s all for now Fatties,

The Reality Fatty

 

RHOA (Season 7, Ep. 2): I Guess Kenya Aint A Hoe After All

Hey Fatties,

Tonight, I wondered why Phaedra wore her Sunday’s best to take her child to the dentist, and then I saw the dentist. Young, mocha latte and cute: All things Phaedra is known to like. Although this was interesting, this is NOT what we are going to focus on tonight. We are going to talk about Kenya’s vindication! Before we talk about this celebratory moment, we need to talk about what a money hungry pig Momma Joyce is!

I know I am going to receive some hate mail from this, but Momma Joyce is one of the most despicable people I have seen on television. She constantly talks about how Todd is out for Kandi’s money, but so far, I have only seen her asking for things and “requiring to be kept in the lifestyle in which she is accustomed to!” I found myself yelling at the television, not just at the fact that Kandi bought her a new house after receiving Joyce’s complaints about the old house she gave her, but the fact that Joyce had the NERVE to ask for a new dining room table after saying the one provided was ugly and too small! Ooh, she pissed me off with that one! Enough about Momma Joyce, Lets get to the main event!

I’m a terrible person! Gimme MONEY!

Apollo finally revealed that he lied about Kenya giving him fellatio and seeing him in Los Angeles! He also told Kandi, Todd, and Peter, “Yeah, I lied!” It was the craziest thing because he said it with a smirk on his face. He might as well have told them, “Ya’ll didn’t know I was lying? I’m a liar, that’s what I do!” After finding out that Apollo had lied, and after wiping the egg from their faces, they came to the conclusion that they would have to apologize to Kenya.  In the end, we ALL know that Kenya’s not going to let them forget about how they wronged her and they will deliver some half assed apologies.

 

Overall, another solid episode for the RHOA cast! Additionally, great appearances by Brandon and Claudia Jordon, who already threw hilarious shade! I can’t wait for next week’s episode, because it’s only going to get better.

What did you think about tonight’s episode? Leave a comment below.

Bye Bye Fatties,

The Reality Fatty

Real Housewives of Atlanta (Season 7) Premiere: Bye Apollo!

Apollo feels abandoned, Cynthia has regained her independence, Kenya feels victimized, Kandi’s family is growing, and Porsha is a nobody! A job well done for the Producers and Cast of RHOA, Season 7!

Bye Bye Porsha!

It’s been too long, Fatties,

Tonight, on the season premiere of RHOA, Season 7, there was ONE major storyline of the night: Phaedra saying, “Bye Felicia” to Apollo. Well, she didn’t actually say those words, but her actions surely did! Apollo wined the whole night at how he had to face his legal woes ALONE! While Apollo was at the ATL house, Phaedra was barricaded in an Augustus, Georgia hotel room. After making claims of escaping to Augusta as a result of the overwhelming Paparazzi lurking around her ATL home, the bravo producers quickly cut to Apollo telling his brother that Phaedra was lying and the Paparazzi was no where to be found. If the producers had it their way, they would have blown a tumbleweed across her driveway, given it was so empty and paparazzi free.

Throughout the episode, Phaedra proved that when she is through with it, she is THROUGH WITH IT! Be damned if you’re a husband who is about to be sentenced. I almost felt like the episode became a Tyler Perry movie. As if I were watching, “Diary of a Mad Black Woman- Part Two.” Phaedra not only left the home, she also didn’t go to his sentencing, which later became viral. Additionally, she let us all know that SHE is the heart and soul of her children’s lives and they ONLY look to her when they need anything. She pretty much told us in legalese that “Apollo AINT Sh*t! I mean, she went for it tonight. However, Apollo wasn’t too far behind her.

Apollo went all over town telling everyone that his wife wasn’t there for him and that he’s not a murderer, nor a rapist, so he’s not a bad guy. The whole time, I was thinking, “You IS a bad guy AND you IS going to jail!” Btw, I do understand that an “are” was needed, but this quote, as is, tickles me!  In the end, when Phaedra finally came home, Apollo told her, in front of her nosy momma, that he wanted a divorce.  Yes. Apollo waited to break up with his wife until the camera arrived!

Phaedra, it’s YOUR fault I’m going to Prison!

Bon Voyage!

Why am I still here when this is clearly marital business?

Overall, the episode was EVERYTHING tonight, and I can’t wait for next week’s episode. Btw, Ne Ne still thinks she is better than ALL of us. Tell me what you thought was amazing tonight!  Also, did you think Phaedra was right or wrong to not attend Apollo’s sentencing?

Glad to be back, Fatties,

 

The Reality Fatty

The Reality Fatty is BACK November 9th!!!

Hey Fatties,

I have been gone way too long!  I mean, I really have been missing all of my readers and cutting up with all of you!  I have some big news!  I am relaunching RealityFatty.com on Sunday, November 9th.  If you are a true reality fan-ista, that means that you know that is also the date of the RHOA season 7 premiere.

Although I am ready to see NeNe act a fool, that is not what I am looking forward to the most.  I am most looking forward to Mrs….excuse me Ms. Phaedra Parks’ messy storyline!  I will definitely be having a #RHOA party that night.

In other monumental news, I will now be a member of the West Hollywood community!  Look out WeHo, there’s a Fatty on the loose!  I’m sure I will have lots of interesting experiences that I know you all will appreciate.  You know, the kind of experiences that include: Love him, then leave him; Love me, then leave me; Love him, but he don’t want me; Don’t love him, but he’s so into me; Should I be into him; Girls just want to have fun; I think I’m a Charlotte, but I’m acting like a Samantha; This food is delicious, so I have to run and tell EVERYONE…type of moments.

Again, I can’t wait to reunite with all of my Fatties!

Sitting back and enjoying Life,

The Reality Fatty