Hey there Fatties,
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Last night’s episode of Newlyweds: The First Year was AMAZING! Not just because there was unexpected drama on the show, but the aftermath of that drama played out for the world to see on twitter, made it even more delicious! However, we will get to that shortly! Last night we saw a new story line come out of left field from Tina and Tarz, Blair and Jeff fight over money and sex AGAIN, Alaska and Kim getting more airtime, and Kathryn and John awaiting baby Dean. There’s so much to talk about so, let’s get to it!
Alaska and Kim
Although these two started out the episode the same way we usually see them, fighting, we got to see a softer side to this couple that wasn’t abruptly interrupted by a phone call or an argument! Alaska and Kim had family over for dinner and we got to hear about Alaska and his father’s once tumultuous relationship and how it has gotten better. We also got to see the whole family cooking and smiling, which was very reminiscent of a Soul Food moment! I loved it! Another high point for this couple was Alaska surprising Kim with a honeymoon to Mexico. These two needed to get away because the streets were talking and a lot of people thought you guys weren’t going to make it. I’m glad Alaska is turning on his sweeter side!
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Mommmmaaaaa, Mommmaaaaa you know I love youuuu!
John and Kathryn
We start of the show with a 36 week pregnant Kathryn, who is going to a Lamaze class with John. While in the class, as a result of hearing what the other husbands were doing for their wives, Kathryn finds out that John should have been doing way more for her than what he was doing. They also realize they have not been having sex as frequently as the other couples. John blames it on the fact that he has a Greek god phallus and is afraid of hurting his unborn child. Later, back at the house, Ellen and Kathryn’s sister come over and we find out that John will be keeping his pool table. John said himself he never had to do anything he didn’t want to do, so I guess we can attribute it to that. After a poor attempt at securing the car seat in his car and proclaiming what he did was “good enough,” he gives up and goes back in the house. Hey, if you think that crappy attempt is good enough for Baby Dean, who am I to question it? Their storyline ends with Kathryn trying to self induce her labor through various methods, including sex, because she is 12 days past her delivery date. Come into the world already baby Dean James Lagoudes!
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Blair and Jeff
We start the show by Jeff telling us how quiet it is since Blair is in New York visiting friends and family and how he likes it! When Blair returns, the two boys are sunbathing and Blair jumps on top of his husband to start making out and tells him to take him downstairs so they can, you know, DO IT! Jeff promptly turns Blair down, causing Blair to become frustrated and me to raise an eyebrow. Blair claims Jeff has lost his sexual appetite but Jeff lets him know how inaccurate he is because he is still pleasing himself at least 2-3 times a day! Blair responds by saying “Jeff is more in love with Palmela and her 5 sisters,” referring to a hand job. Jeff would like for them to become more sexually adventurous by having sex outside the house and Blair is not feeling that idea. However, it might be a good idea to spice things up a little bit because Jeff is clearly getting bored and I’m getting scared for one of my favorite couples.
Later the conversation goes from sex to finances and Blair has to inquire about the completion of the wills. Good job Blair for standing your ground! Blair asks what lawyer they will go to in order to sign the wills and Jeff said he wanted to find someone who wasn’t a lawyer, so it could be less expensive. Como? If you could go to a lawyer for legal advice, without Blair, I would think it would be just as or more important to get the documents drafted and signed by an attorney. In the end, Jeff tries to calm Blair’s nerves by telling him he loves him and he wants to make the marriage last forever, and blah blah blah. Once the will gets drafted and signed, then I can accept that speech as accurate. However, until then, Jeff, you are on notice, Buddy! Lol!
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Tina and Tarz
The drama flowed from this couple tonight! We started off by seeing a horrible moment for the two, when they had a miscarriage. I was really excited for the possibility of an instant glitter baby but, I’m sure if the show is renewed, we will get to experience another glitter baby journey with Tina and Tarz because they WILL be parents! While dealing with their loss, Tina’s father gave them and us, a heap of added drama, when he introduced them to his version of a PYT (Pretty Young Thing). She was Anglo, blonde, and everything he didn’t want Tina to date. Can you smell the hypocrisy? They were making out at the table and just over all doing way too much! At one point, his girlfriend told them they were thinking about getting married and having a baby to add to the 4 she already has! She also told Tina she doesn’t know what it is like to be a mother, making Tina become sad and Tarz become furious. Tina’s father, who was privy to the loss she just suffered, sat there uncaring of his daughter’s feelings. It was all just too crazy and gross!
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Twitter Beef
There was lots of drama on twitter yesterday surrounding the new Tina and Tarz storyline involving their father. Many viewers thought it was contrived, including Newlyweds own Blair Late! Blair sent out a tweet that was delicious!
Although Entertaining no 1 seems 2 b buying @TinaSugandh Dad scene. ME Neither! Wasnt he an actor/entertainer b4? @NewlyWedsFYFans #fishy
This enraged Tina and Tarz, leaving them to tweet
@blairlate @NewlyWedsFYFans BLAIR! You filmed the same show as me. @EvaDestruction wouldn’t allow us to fake ANYTHING!
@blairlate @TinaSugandh @NewlyWedsFYFans Wait – aren’t you an entertainer by trade lol? #GlassHouses and #StrangeComments
Given we all know Blair can go further, he tweets
@TheyCallMeTarz @TinaSugandh @NewlyWedsFYFans A singer and reporter and designer, yes!!! #callingitlikeitseems #rottenindenmark #notalone
@TinaSugandh @NewlyWedsFYFans DUH! Not suggesting anyone else knew silly!!!! Entertaining none the less! Staying Tuned I suppose!
Hilarious! Given the couples will be on WWHL, I agree with @NewlywedsFYFans who tweeted:
@blairlate @TinaSugandh @TheyCallMeTarz there is only one episode left, so make up or save it for #wwhl . Lol! #newlyweds
All of this drama is getting me even more excited to see the WWHL special going down next Monday, after the finale! Anyway, lots of drama and can’t wait until next week.
Have an awesome day Fatties,
The Reality Fatty
realityfatty 
Newlyweds has to be the most idiotic show on Bravo…You all are hard up for some money..Delete Cancel.com.
Jake, thanks for the comment! However, the show is actually hilarious, in many ways! As far as the most idiotic show on Bravo…I have to respectfully disagree. I mean, have you seen the RHOC? Just saying!
I like the newlyweds all except John, I sure hope he get’s his shit together when Dean arrives. He is admittedly selfish, and jealous and very self centered……oh and arrogant. I love Kathryn. The rest is entertaining, I love TINA and her drama, she is good tv, TARZ
is great to look at and he calms the storm that can be TINA. I really don’t like Tina;s dad, he needs to show some respect to Tarz. His PDA with “Malibu Barbie” (good one Tina) made me sick. It broke Andy’s awkward meter. All in all I think it’s entertaining. Andy Cohen knows what he is doing!!
Great analysis! Tina is great for reality television. However, if you look at it, so is John! He says things that piss people off and get people talking. For instance, talking about Kathryn’s weight when they are literally rocking the same pants size! Crazy but, great TV. If there is another season, I would love to see some interaction between the couples. That would definitely lead to more drama.
I’ve become a fan of the show… but my analysis is.. Alaska and John could use sensitivity training, Blair is a whining child (if he whined that much with me I’d kick him to the curb).. as for the finances.. I wouldn’t put him in the will until he was actually to contribute… unless he’s looking for a sugar daddy??? The scene with Tina’s dad was repulsive! If one of my parents acted in that manner I would have left the table – it was extremely disrespectful. All in all…. the biggest arse on this show is John… he’s the typical ‘barefoot and pregnant caveman’ and when his child falls out of that car seat because he didn’t strap it in right maybe he’ll catch a clue… he’s totally not ready to be a dad… I see child support in his future.
Hahahaha! Annelisa360, that was hilariously accurate! However, Kathryn seems to be semi ok with John’s behavior so, there is somebody for everybody! The only part of your analysis I have to disagree with is the will! Girlfriend, have you forgotten Blair’s popular saying, “I pay more Jeff?” He is entitled to some security in the house he is paying for, considering if anything happened to Jeff, I am pretty positive his parents would take the house.